I’m Cezar. I take dog training seriously: timing, control, pressure, reward, handler mechanics, working dogs, bite work — the boring technical stuff that decides whether something actually works or merely looks impressive for eight seconds on social media.
That also means I notice the little things. The command you repeated five times. The reward you gave at exactly the wrong moment. The dog that apparently has “selective hearing” but somehow hears a cheese wrapper from three rooms away. And, unfortunately for you, I tend to notice what the handler did two seconds before the dog became “the problem”.
Most trainers are diplomatic with their clients. I seem to have misplaced that particular professional skill. OnlyInsults is what happens when the technical eye stays switched on but the polite filter gets switched off.
So no, this isn’t an online dog-training course. You come here for the roast. If the joke happens to expose something painfully accurate about your dog — or about you — consider that an fortunate side effect.
“Still think your dog is good? Well, maybe you need to think again.”
“My friends say I’m too kind. What do they know?”